The raw side.
This is a confession. This is a rant. This is a gift. This is a prayer. This is a letter to myself. This is a testament for the world. This is a notebook. This is a memoir. This is an unauthorized autobiography. This is a place for self-betterment. This is to demonstrate I lived.
This is an open diary for everything that is worth my time, and perhaps yours. Except my art. Creative writing and music will go here. This blog will host everything else: things I find inspiring, thoughts, philosophical and literary reflections, diary pages, feelings, reasons to smile, reasons to cry, reasons to live and die and die for.
I am a soul. I have no nationality. I have no parents. The only sense of belonging I find is in the family, the places and the stories I make for myself. I have no home yet, but one day I’ll make one. I have a body, the wrong one, and perhaps I’ll be able to make a new body for myself as well. I was dead before being born. Fear killed me; forgetfulness and repression kept me buried under a façade of nothingness that even I fell for. With nothing to say and nothing to do for myself. Only able to follow others’ orders and wishes and plans for the life they wished they had lived.
I was emptiness. Then, I have been born.
I took my heart and baptised it with my own tears, to mourn over time lost. It started beating, and the pulse gave me blood to write, and rhythm to sing to. I realized I am an artist. I realized I have stories to tell, and words and music are my instruments. Even my brain found a new direction.
But it’s not that easy. Emptiness is a black hole that sucks your life in and doesn’t give anything back. Right now, what I am is a potential, and not much more. This is not a story written, but a story still to write. A struggle that I won’t lose, but I still have to win. A struggle to find the words to tell this story. This is the creation of a new life, the search for a meaning, to become the person I know I am, but I still am not.
I was emptiness. Now I am life, and I want to fill my existence with beauty.